Cool Beans

I know it's important to be grateful for everything we have, so I try to do just that. But, there are a few things that I struggle with at times.  Like my mini-van.  Yes, I drive a mini-van.  I buckled back in 2003, bought a red van, and have never looked back.    I loved my red van.  Then I was rear-ended and had to get a another one soon after. It's the van I still drive.

I love the inside.  It has nice gray plush interior, a built-in DVD player and captains chairs in the middle row. But, truth be told, I am not a fan of the outside.  It is an interesting maroon color, and the previous owner, an elderly gentleman, had awful blue pin strips painted across all four sides of the van.

They were almost a deal breaker.

But, I swallowed my pride and thought, "Well, I guess they'll keep me humble."  It's hard to drive around feeling like' cool beans' in a mini-van with blue pin stripes.

I've had the van for 4 year now, so I have grown used to the color and the stripes.  They actually come in handy when I can't remember where I parked the van.  It is the only one with stripes like that.  Seriously- the ONLY one.

The other day I had to take the van into the shop for it's 90,000 mile check up.  Of course the service people found a lovely list of things that need to be fixed, so they offered to set me up in a rental car while they work in it.

I love free stuff, so I said, Sure!

I thought I was going to get a old loaner car, but they actually paid for a nice rental car- a Dodge Charger, black with tinted windows.

As I drove home, I have to say, I was feeling like cool beans. I drove home feeling a little cooler, and perhaps even driving a little faster, than I normally would.

At the end of my 30 minute drive home, I pulled up to an intersection next to another mini-van.  It was older, and not awesome-looking  like my car or me.  I was in a Charger.  I was cool beans.

When I caught myself in mid-thought, I had to laugh.  Just an hour before I was rockin' an even uglier mini-van, and now, here I am feeling like I am awesomer (yes I know that's not a real word, but I like it) than the next lady because I was in a Charger- that wasn't even mine!

Now I am not a materialistic or vain person, but it got me thinking of how easy it is to attach personal worth to possessions. We can develop opinions about others' worth by the house they own, what they wear, the car the drive and the people the associate with.  We also judge ourselves by how our children behave, how skinny we are, how clean our house is and if we are loved.

Our opinions about people can be easily swayed by their appearance or possessions, and often we feel a tendency to compare ourselves to them.  My husband tells my children, "Never compare yourself to others because there is always sometime dumber, but there is always someone smarter."

You know the old saying, "You can't judge a book by its cover."  You can't- not even your own book.

It truly is what's inside that matters.  I was the same person in the van as I was in the Charger. I was Michelle- except in the Charger I began to feel cool.  So silly how something so small can do that.

When we stand before the Savior at the final judgement, we will not be facing Him along side our peers.  We will be alone.  He will not care what car we drove, how rich we were, what kind of high-lights were in our hair or how expensive our clothes are.  We will not be able to bring any material thing with us.

He will want to know if we had used this time to become like Him- on the inside. Did we love God and serve Him? Did we apply the Atonement in our lives? Did we love and cherish our spouses, putting their needs before our own.  Did we raise our children up in truth? Did we serve selflessly and love our neighbor? Did we contribute to our community?  Did we keep ourselves clean and pure?  Did we, indeed, receive His image in our countenance?

Now, can you answer yes to all of these while driving a Charger? Sure, but the key is where your heart lies. Is your joy in things or in Him? Do you base your worth things or your divine heritage and potential?

I have to return the Charger tomorrow morning, but, the lesson I was reminded of will stay with me. I know where my heart lies. I know who I am on the inside.  I may falter occasionally, like at that intersection. But it takes me just a moment  to bring myself back to that truth.  I may have an ugly van, crazy hair, a messy house and imperfect habits, but I am trying to be like Jesus every day.  Now that is cool beans.